Note: As the world seeks out terrorist leaders, this old homework assignment came to mind. It was written by Aviva’s son, Ami (ä' mē). The assignment was: If you had the opportunity as a high school student to address the General Assembly of the United Nations, what issue would you present as the most important topic on the global agenda?  Reprinted with Ami Schwab’s permission.

 
 It All Starts at Home

Give me my chance. I want my voice to be heard. We can achieve world peace and world harmony. I know the way. It may seem as if I am just young and idealistic, but if my idea is followed, it might work. My idea is very basic. What leads to war? It is the greedy human desire for power. I realize that this is an oversimplification of something that is much more complex but I believe it to be a good summary.

Every person on this planet should have to take a required course to become a parent. My mother teaches a course on parenting that I feel could make every child better behaved and more mature and responsible.

The principles of this course are simple. A child should be raised as an equal and respected as an equal. To put it into political terms: the child should be raised in a democratic home. This idea is revolutionary. In the past, parents seemed to have the final word with no questions asked. Times have changed and children demand respect. Otherwise, they will act as they are treated -- with disrespect.

There are two main ways in which parents raise their children these days. The more traditional way is the autocratic method. The other way, which is seen in today’s society more than any time before, is the permissive way of parenting. Both of these styles of parenting have their adverse effects on the world climate today.

The autocratic parent says, “Do this because I am your parent.” The reason behind the parent’s actions may be valid and to the benefit of the child, but the parent does not give the child the respect of telling him or her the reason. This often causes resentment in the children, and as a result the child tends to misbehave. Some of the severe cases end up with children who are so resentful that they purposely disobey what their parents say when it comes to things like drugs and even crime. Even more severe cases result in children who end up being angry and violent. These same children want the power that their parents used on them. Power and violence can lead to war.

On the other hand, the permissive parent says, “Do whatever you want.” When a child is unhappy, many permissive parents tend to make promises to the child of gifts and privileges. As a child, I know that limits have to be set for me. Children need limits to teach responsibility and respect. They also should not receive gifts just for being good. Receiving a gift for being good is a bribe. In our world we teach that bribing is not a good thing. If this is true, then why are we bribing our children to act responsibly and be happy? How responsible is that? Permissiveness frequently results in greed and neediness at a young age. If a child is accustomed to receiving anything his or her heart desires with a little begging and complaining, then that is what this person will learn to expect as an adult. Many times this is why people are selfish and greedy. This greed can lead to a want of power and wealth that is often the root of war.

If being autocratic is bad and being permissive is bad, what is good? The same thing that is good in politics, democracy. When guiding a child to be responsible and respectful, a parent has to give children responsibility and must be respectful to the child. Many parents never teach their children responsibility by giving them chores at young ages. A five year old can take his or her first steps at learning responsibility by learning how to clear the table, make sandwiches and put away the laundry.

Also, children need to be directed but not bossed. There is a huge distinction. A child who is directed and respected will learn to respect others. Those who are bossed and not respected will only learn disrespect and resentment. If children play an active role in their family decisions at a young age they will feel that they make a difference in their own lives. Parents need to listen and sympathize with children and to take the time to explain to them the reasons for the limits and directions presented to them. Children can learn to respect that and will follow out of respect. After a time children learn to limit themselves responsibly.

If all parents could balance respect with limitations, which is not as hard as it sounds, then their children would learn respect and responsibility rather than power, greed, anger and hatred. The world, most would agree, would be better off with these principles instilled at home. Parenting is one of the most important responsibilities in life. Let us not mess it up. I present to you, the General Assembly of the United Nations, my plan to better the world and it all starts at home.